How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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