would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
