mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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