do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
