you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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