thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
