I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
