The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am naked and annoyed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
