just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
