Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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