i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
