she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's always time for handjobs
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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