Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
