the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
