Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
