I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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