For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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