So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The adults are the big ones right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
