"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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