So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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