Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
