I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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