the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
