how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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