What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she smelled like a LAN party
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
