If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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