her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
