Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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