I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
