Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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