Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is it because I queefed?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
