Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So much Jack, so little girl.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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