There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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