i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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