I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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