Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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