Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
