so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
