Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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