do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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