you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
