Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Alive.
So much puke
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
