I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
