she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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