make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
