dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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