yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize