Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
