Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
