hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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