so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
