Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
